Sunday, February 12, 2012

It’s All Okay, Baby! Enjoy the Moment!

Our Little Boy! Thumbs Up!

    Time moves so much more quickly than it used to. Your first 18 years are the slowest of your life, I’m told. I think that must be right. Now that I’m 30 time seems to be zipping by and it only gets worse from here. Or so they say…whoever they are. But last week I got a message in an unexpected place. Our unborn child sent us a message that everything is okay at our most recent ultrasound. That’s a hard thing to remember sometimes. Eventually, everything will be oaky. I love my new family and I am so happy to be living the live we have.

I feel lucky to be on my current life path. I found the love of my life and we were married 8 months ago. He claims to be the one who found me, and I suppose that’s technically true, but I did have to agree to go out on a date with him so I’d say we are both responsible. We are both lucky.

Now, we are expecting a huge life change at the end of April. The nursery is underway and I’m growing by leaps and bounds. This whole pregnancy experience is moving very quickly and slowly at the same time.  I’m ready to get it done and worried about the end result all at the same time. David is happy and worried, too. We planned this and we even thought it through as much as possible beforehand. Now, we are in it and it’s quite a ride so far. I’ve even grown to enjoy the hourly kicks, punches, and nudges from the inside.

Soon, I’ll have 2 great loves in my life I hope I’ll have the presence of mind to enjoy the moment regularly. I know that time will move even faster for us very soon and I’m sure that we will both get caught up in all of it. We’ll be lost and bewildered but we’ll be together. I can know this ahead of time just like I know we are powerless to prevent it. We will likely disagree, fuss, and fight. There will be messes, sleepless nights, and plenty of crying. There will also be new discoveries, snuggly moments, and a lifetime of wonderful memories. I will not enjoy every single moment. I don’t expect that of myself or my husband. But we don’t have to so long as we continue to enjoy moments together. I know all of this ahead of time, intellectually. I hope I can remember all of it in the moment. I hope we both can.

I have some aspirations that are on hold for a while. I’m learning to be okay with that. Writing is still important to me but right now my marriage and my new family are my priority. I’m still finding balance and I know that I probably won’t ever get it all perfect because that’s not how life works. But I’ll find a path…or make one. This week I’m helping my mother to publish her first book on Amazon.  I’m very proud of her. I’ll post a link to it as soon as it’s live. I hope my child will be as good to me as I am to my mom.

My last thought today is about another message I received Friday night. I found out that a friend passed away early that morning. He was happily married and a truly friendly and funny guy. He wasn’t nearly old enough to have passed. It was a single month from the time he found out that he was terminally ill to his passing. That was so fast I’m not sure anyone really had time to think. I was lamenting this at my parent’s home this weekend and both of my parents said, very seriously, “but that’s the best way to go.” I could only blink. Then my mother went on to remind me of the long drawn out passing of my grandfather and others. My grandfather declined over a period of 5 years and while his body failed his mind was sharp and it was some kind of long drawn out torture. No death is desirable but given the choice between quick and slow they would choose to go quickly. I’m not sure if they are right or not but it was another perspective. I suppose in the end the most important par is whether or not the living are left with good memories. I think they are in this case. And so again I am reminded to enjoy moments as they come along…even the ones that aren’t completely pleasant. But on the whole everything is going to be okay.
Thanks for reading,