Sunday, November 20, 2011

Growth Spurt

Tastes and interests change. Intellectually I know this. I think we all know this. But experiencing it can be somewhat disconcerting. I’ve spent the last few months wondering what’s wrong with me. For a while I thought it was another effect of the pregnancy. It’s possible that it’s a factor but it’s not the cause. I think I’ve figured it out…mostly.

I’m going through an emotional and intellectual growth spurt. These don’t have to be terribly painful. This particular one just feels a little bewildering. I’m not interested in the same things as before. For a while I worried that I was depressed. But then I reasoned that there would be other symptoms like listlessness etc… Since I don’t have those it must not be depression. Okay, then what’s wrong with me?

So, I asked myself why I was not interested in doing things like writing, blogging, reading blogs I’d previously been interested in, watching shows I’d liked before, and doing things the way I’ve always done them.

Partly it was because I hadn’t recognized the change in myself. It’s not that I’m not interested in blogging. I’m just not interested in doing it exactly the way I’ve done it before. It’s not that I don’t enjoy writing. But how and what I write is changing and I have to be okay with that.  As far as reading blogs and such…I think my discontent is due to content overload. There’s so much of it out there and only about a third can hold my attention anymore. I’m looking for interesting content and I can’t always find it.

There’s one more factor. Being in the middle of a big change it’s hard to see where it’s going. I’m finding what no longer holds my attention and I’m still looking for what will. I haven’t found all of those things yet.

I think this is a good thing. Without change life would get boring and stale. I’m glad I’ve finally recognized what’s going on so I can embrace it and grow as a person.

So, what internal changes have you experienced lately? Was it a good or bewildering experience?

Thanks for reading,

Kristine Duffey